Holding Permanence
Calgary, Alberta
Holding Permanence explores my personal experience of being trans-non-binary and the ways in which aesthetics and adornment have impacted my experience of self on a day-to-day basis. Upon waking, I am introduced to myself again and again, transformed and requiring a new relationship to be built with myself that is unique to that day. Some days masculine, some days feminine, some days totally disconnected and disembodied, and others totally embodied and euphoric. This experience is transient, it is ever-changing, and the expectations to stay static and in one form feel like a million tiles, permanent and yielding to change. Seen here is a ceramic, chain-linked garment; each tile is uniquely made with fingerprints embossing their surfaces. The tiles are stitched together with copper chain links which support the piece when draped over the shoulders and clasped at the sides. Like armour that conceals and protects, it lays heavy on my shoulders unforgiving. The ceramic holds a permanence, an artifact of time, but here, the hard unforgiving material is made malleable, wrapping around, and remaining in dialogue with the body to which it was made for.

Holding Permanence - FULL VIDEO HERE
Mixed Media, Performance, Film

Lex Hilderman
Calgary, Alberta